Tough Conversations: When Is It Time for Older Adults To Stop Driving?

Driving is more than just a mode of transportation; it is a symbol of independence that many cherish. However, as we age, it becomes crucial to recognize when driving may no longer be safe. The decision to stop driving is significant and depends on a person’s ability rather than age. The decision can be influenced by a gradual change in ability or a sudden shift due to illness or other factors.

Typical changes caused by aging often affect driving abilities. For example, changes in depth perception are very normal as we age. And many people lose the flexibility that allows them to, for example, turn their head quickly to check the roadway. Others may find their reaction time slowing down. None of these changes are about the person. They are strictly about the aging body.

How do we know when it is time to stop driving or for our older loved one to stop? Asking this question gets to the heart of the matter: Is it better to keep society safe or for this person to continue driving? Whether you are answering that question for yourself or asking your loved one about their driving, it will help guide the thought process and the conversation. Here are some more tips.

Thinking About One’s Own Driving Abilities

For some seniors, the realization that it is time to hang up the keys comes from self-awareness of their diminishing driving skills. Recognizing signs like difficulty seeing at night can lead to voluntary decisions to limit driving. Many older adults choose to start making changes by avoiding nighttime driving or busy highways. They might also limit themselves to familiar routes or shorter trips, using alternatives for longer distances.

Self-regulation is a smart way to stay safe while keeping some independence and a feeling of control. It also makes it easier for seniors to get used to other ways of getting around besides driving.

Starting the Conversation With an Older Loved One

Talking to an older loved one about reducing or stopping their driving can be very challenging and should be planned with care. If someone were to tell you that you should stop driving, your natural reaction would likely be that you are losing your independence, and you might become defensive about the issue. You might worry about becoming dependent on others to do the things you want and need to do, and when. After decades of driving, the conversation probably would not sit well with you.

A gentle way to start this dialogue with an older loved one is by asking reflective questions that encourage self-assessment. You might ask them, “Would you feel comfortable driving your grandchild”? Such questions can help older adults realize the potential risks without feeling pressured. Other questions can focus on the car rather than the person. Ask questions about dents or scratches not by asking, “How did you do that”? but rather, “How did that happen”? or even “Can I help you arrange to get that fixed”?

Exploring Alternative Transportation Options

Bear in mind that you do want to encourage your older loved one to keep getting out of the house. Losing the ability to drive can have disastrous effects on the social connections and activities we all need for our mental health.

Fortunately, giving up driving does not mean giving up mobility. Seniors have various alternatives to driving themselves:

• Public transportation: Buses, trains, and subways can be excellent options for seniors, especially in cities with robust transit systems.
• Community senior services: Many communities offer shuttle services specifically for seniors, which can be a convenient and safe way to get around.
• Ride-hailing services and taxis: Services like Uber and Free Now offer convenient, door-to-door service at many locations.
• Family and friends: They are often more than willing to help by providing rides, especially for important appointments or events.
• Walking: If health permits and distances are manageable, walking is both practical and healthy.

The transition from driving can be challenging, but it opens up new opportunities to explore different and potentially rewarding modes of transport. With the right approach and support, older adults can navigate this change smoothly, maintaining their independence and safety.